Hip Hop 101: Hip Hop Decoded!

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I’ve already brought you a short class on Assology.  There will be another lesson upcoming for the Spring Semester with a deeper look into the tail piece along with some new findings.  But I also wanted to introduce a new topic.  Rap music.

I know that everyone doesn’t like or understand Rap music.  For some people, maybe they just can’t get down with the lyrics, the beats, or the artists.  In reality, rap music brings important messages to everyone, so to help bring this message to a broader audience, popular songs have been reduced to easy to understand mathmatics based graphs.

Let’s start off simple.  UvT has studied the work of the late great Christopher Wallace who adopted the oxymoranic nomenclature of Biggie Smalls and determined that there is a direct relationship between Money and Problems.

mo-money.jpg

We also found that if you look closely at a unique phenomenon called “1,2,3 & to the Fo'”.  When it occurs, both Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre will be at the Doe 100% of the time.  We’ve called this the “G-Thang effect“.

g-thang.jpg

This one become a bit confusing.  Ultimately we know that “Bitches Ain’t Shit but Hoes and Tricks“, but the use of the vernacular “ain’t” keeps this in the realm of mere theory for now. 

b-aint-s.jpg

We suspect that the true finding of this study will be that but stating “Bitches ain’t shit” it means that they are in fact always less than or equivalent to shit.  Such a revelation would throw the entire space time continuum into flux, so we will be careful with the announcement.

In the meantime, there are tributes to our finding popping up already:

In our final finding, we’ve found a way to determine when, in fact, you gotta say it was a good day.  This finding is based on the field research of O’Shea Jackson.  Like Samson his work was better before he cut his hair, but he will be remembered as one of the greatest.

good-day.jpg

Class Dismissed.

-Professor Brock

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