Iowa Caucuses: Stop, it’s the muthaf#ckin remix!

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Damn, homies…. When I took off my chicks hat, followed by my Duke hoops hat, followed by my steroids scandal hat and put on my political pundit hat, I must say, I was SHOCKED at the outcome in the Iowa caucuses.

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Mike Huckabee makes sense, because let’s face it, the Republicans have weak candidates for the mainsteam Republican party which is made of of intolerant, fearful and simple-minded individuals who would rather vote based on where you go to church or who you may or may not sleep with than the actual issues that impact their lives. To that end, Huckabee makes perfect sense for a Republican voter (He makes less sense for the puppet masters of the Karl Rove variety). First, he appears to be a genuine and decent man. Believe me, that’s a HUGE concession for Lake the GOP Playa Hater. Second, he’s got impeccable Jesus credentials, something I’m told goes over pretty well out there in places like Iowa. Huckabee likes guns, fishing, hunting, dogs, women (hopefully) and God and he does all of it with a confident dignity.

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None of this slumming it with a damn dress on like that one part freak, one part 9/11 opportunist, two parts deadbeat dad/husband Rudy Giuliani.

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(Not sure about yall, but I would NEVER vote for a dude who rocked a dress, period)

Similarly, Mitt Romney poses major problems for the GOP voter. Let’s face it, you’ve got the Big Love factor, something people, least of all Republicans, just aren’t ready to confront, much less, accept. Then you have the fact that dude has completely flip-flopped and back tracked on every major Republican issue there is. Dude was Pro-Choice, Pro-Gay, he functionally raised taxes in Massachusetts and really was an overall awful Governor. All of those issues are capsulized by the notion that Mitt is plastic and unauthentic (John Kerry anyone?).

Anyway, the Huckabee thing makes perfect sense. You want to know what makes very little sense to me? The thing that completely blows my mind? BARACK OBAMA WON IN IOWA?!?!?!! Are you kidding me?!?!

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What are you going to tell me next, that the best golfer ever is black?

Hmmm.. Seriously, Barack Obama is a very dangerous man for the entire Presidential field at this point. This concept of hope, something I quite frankly thought might be a bit too hokey, is really resonating with the people. And Obama didn’t just beat Hillary and Edwards, he thumped them by 9 and 8 points respectively. Barack even won among women voters!

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If you told me five years ago, hell, five minutes ago, that an African American could go into a Midwestern state that is 95% white and win the caucus, I’d tell you you’re crazy. Maybe times are changing. Can any of you imagine Barack as the Democratic nominee? I’ll go on the record and say I’ll quit my job and hit the campaign trail if he does…. times a changin?

– Glass half full Lake

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2 Responses to “Iowa Caucuses: Stop, it’s the muthaf#ckin remix!”

  1. Michelle Says:

    Barack is the future!!!!

  2. RosyF Says:

    Lake, I see a playa can still be shocked by a thing or two. If Obama is the nominee I will expect you to get on the campaign trail or at least send an intern and a check.

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