Because that is what Tracy Edmonds will be getting from Eddie long about 2013. Eddie and Tracy were married this past weekend.
Damn, he looks happy now, but you know this isn’t gonna work out, right? Everybody has a boy like Eddie. You know, a cat that just can’t get along without a girl on his arm. Eddie just takes it further than the rest. I mean, check this timeline. Eddie just got divorced in April of 2006 after sixteen years and four kids from his wife Nicole.
Now Nicole always had body, especially after four kids, and I know she was supposedly some kind of a model, but that grill-piece was always kinda suspect to me. She’s all angles. Right now, the angle she’s working is juicing Eddie for alimony and child support while kicking it with Michael “good for getting jacked for his loot” Strahan.
So Eddie gets the divorce finalized and gets married to Tracey a year and a half later. All by itself that is a little aggressive. Let’s not forget this little fact though.
I see you Ed-diiiiiieeee. Nice one. Yeah, somewhere in the last year and a half Eddie got with, impregnated, broke up with, had a baby with, said “It wadden’t me”, failed a paternity test (unlike this guy), and ignored Mel B and his child. Eddie must have that Holyfield level fertility.
So let’s get the math right. Eddie has to cover Nicole and the four kids. Mel B is sure to get some child support any day now, and now he is married to Tracey…who has two kids from Babyface.
I wonder if she left him over that shirt. If she didn’t, she should have. Let’s not forget that Babyface cheated on Tracey back in the day and had to write “Never Keeping Secrets” to get her back. Hot make up song though.
Back to Eddie. Homey, how are you going to support all of these people?
Damn man, I don’t know either. That questionable look in Eddie’s eye reminds me, Eddie has had some issues in his past. You can definitely get a line on his type of woman. Nicole, Mel, Tracey…all light skinned, tall, stay in the limelight and around famous men. I see your game Eddie. But there are a few others:
Michael Jackson has tall and light skinned covered. Hmmmmmmm. This picture is my evidence that something ain’t right. Let me tell you something, if Jacko ever got that close to me…that cat is getting straight punched in the chin implant. Then there is this:
That young lady…errrrrrrrr…dude is the tranny that Eddie just wanted to give a ride out of West Hollywood a few years ago. Let me get my checklist:
Light skinned: check
Like rich, famous people: got with Eddie – check.
Yeah, Eddie was trying to give her a ride all right.
So Tracey, a piece of advice. Don’t go anywhere close to Eddie’s junk unless you are ready to join Halle Berry, Christina Aguilera, and Jessica Alba in pregnancy. When Eddie starts trippin’ in 2013, take it from Umfufu. Get your half.
Half of whatever is left that is.