It’s official: Lindsay Lohan loves sex

UPDATE:  Check out the Nude shot of Lindsay right HERE!!! 

And sex loves her…

Like an ungrateful boyfriend who doesn’t tell his lady how much he cares for her, doesn’t open the door or even comment on how good that Christmas goose tasted, I must apologize to a lady that means a lot to me….Lindsay Lohan. I freaking love this chick! End of the day, she’s just a hype babe visually.

Yeah, I know, she’s not that hot, right? Think again. You need only look at Lindsay next to a regular chick, like say, Rumer Willis below and then you see that she’s got special talent in the looks area.

Then you just gotta ask yourself, who did more for Cocaine in 2007 than Linds?

I mean babe checked into rehab about four times, she had that hot mug shot where she’s clearly blasted out of her fucking mind, and she’s even got those bathroom pics where she’s tooting the Bolivian Marching Powder with a fellow space cadet.

Hey, anyone who has spent as much time in nightclubs as I have understands the integral place scandalous hoes like Lindsay play in that scene. I think we should salute her and the White Horse all together for their many contributions to the party scene both personally and with the example they set for our young, supple over 21 years of age youth about America at large.

Anyway, now comes word that Lindsay not only looks the part, oh and thank you for the nipple slips (NSFW) and baby maker (NSFW) exposure, but she’s the real article. Indeed, when she’s not nipple slipping HERE or word is out that Linds is a certified FREAK!!! I guess she had some 2 week long “boyfriend” in rehab named Riley Giles and homey gave the goods on Lin-Lo:

“Lindsay’s definitely a nymphomaniac. She’s wild in bed. We’d have sex a couple of times in the day and then go to it through the night. We once did it four times in a row straight. That was crazy. Lindsay was insatiable. She’d demand sex again and again. We’d go at it for hours. She’d have worn out most guys.

The first time we had sex I couldn’t believe I was looking down at Lindsay Lohan naked. We’d barely gotten through the door when we just ripped each other’s clothes off. Lindsay is so hot. She has a great body. Her backside is fantastic, perfect, all plump and round. She has great curves but her belly is nice and flat and toned.

When you orgasm, your endorphins shoot up and it becomes a massive natural high. If you have an addictive personality like Lindsay you need that to replace the highs you got from taking drugs all the time. Sex became a key part of her recovery.”

What a great read. I could have done without that absurd, fanciful and shameless personal “dack” riding he tried to pull off with that “any other man couldn’t have satisfied”—-AHHHHNT, Nilla Pleez. You aren’t hype. If you were, you wouldn’t be giving the goods on ole girl right before you slithered your punk ass back into whatever sewer you came out of. Oh and nice mug shot.

And in case you didn’t take that story as true or if you didn’t necessarily believe that story constituted certified Noelia “that’s the way I like it” status, then peep this new report that Linds banged out 3 Italian dudes in under 24 hours. Haa haaa, reminds me of a female version of Lake from back in my younger years… Only, look at the mugs on the slugs she allegedly got cut up by, slump busting Linds?

Yeah meng, I own know about Lindsay’s choice in dudes. Then again, that’s even better for the rest of the men out there who haven’t hit Lindsay off yet. Now basically any cat who isn’t terrible has a chance to meet this chick in Vegas one weekend, hook up the booger sugar and then rock out with his cock out in the hotel suite with a certified B-Lister. Hmmmm JFK to Vegas for this weekend on JetBlue is a clean $438. I could do it.

– Lake