I love America. You ask people how they feel about immigration and they are willing to build a wall across the entire Mexican border. Not the Canadian border mind you, those are nothing more than French speaking white people up there, they must be cool, just the Mexicans…and Haitians…and Cubans who don’t look like Elian Gonzalez.
The same people who are ready to send any actual Spanish speaking person to make a run for the freaking border also think Jessica Alba is freaking hot.
And they would be 100% right, she is hot. But that got me thinking, there are a lot of Hispanic Celebrities that America just starts treating like they are white people. I know, Alba just looks like a hot white babe with a tan. No, she’s Latina. This never happens to Black people by the way, no matter how many white people like you, you’re still Black. So let’s explore this phenomenon, here is a list:
First, the aforementioned Jessica Alba. The only time she even remotely claimed her Hispanic heritage was when she paid “hip hop chick” in Honey.
Yeah, that was about as convincing as Mariah Carey playing a hard on her luck Black chick in “Glitter“.
Second there’s Cameron Diaz:
Somehow she just became everyone ‘s favorite skinny white chick. Her last name is Diaz people, and her hair is not naturally blonde.
Alex Rodriguez:
Ok fine. I don’t really think that people forget that A Rod is Hispanic. Although his white wife and “biggest contract in all of sports ever” seems to point to the fact that most people don’t associate Alex Rodriguez with these dudes.
That picture has nothing to do with anything. It is just fully ridiculous.
Next, there is Eva Longoria:
I guess she gets a pass because she’s hot? Don’t get me wrong, she’s got a pretty face. I know Lake and the interns like her, but I really can’t pinpoint why. Her body is only decent, nothing really stands out about it. Biel’s got the tail, Britney had the legs, and Paris had the sex tape. I just don’t know why I care about this chick yet.
Jennifer Lopez probably doesn’t belong on this list. She played Selena, so she doesn’t exactly shy away from Hispanic Roles. Here’s the deal, she was definitely drifting somewhere around the Diddy/Ben Affleck years.
The key difference here? That ass always let you know you were dealing with something special.
Damn, she really lets that thang hang. Yeah, no one thought they were dealing with a white girl here.
Here’s the real killer. Charlie and Martin Sheen:
Charlie, do you think we really forgot you have a brother named Emilio Estevez? Hell, Martin Sheen’s real name is Mondergard Ramón Gerardo Antonio Estévez. Mondergard? Doesn’t get more authentic than that. That sounds like a name you choose when you start playing World of Warcraft. I think Mondergard is a level 37 Dwarf Shaman. Even Charlie’s real name is Carlos Estevez.
I know the Sheen family meeting where Emilio decided he wasn’t “selling out” the family name and staying a Estevez had to be heated. The messed up thing? Emilio hasn’t had a hot movie since “Young Guns“. I guess becoming “Eddie Sheen” wouldn’t have been such a bad idea after all.
-Brock
Tags: Alex Rodriquez, Cameron Diaz, Charlie Sheen, Elian Gonzalez, Emilio Estevez, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Alba, Maritn Sheen
December 30, 2007 at 1:35 pm |
You can’t forget Christina Aguilera!!!!!!
December 30, 2007 at 1:39 pm |
What the fuck is hispanic anyway? Half of these cats don’t speak spanish anyway… If you’re white, don’t speaka da spanish and grew up in Iowa, what kinda spanish are you? Truth is, there is no hispanic, it’s all just some light skinned black people with a tan and some loud music who happen to not speaka the got damn English.
That’s why I support Mitt Romney, he’ll get the fake Americans out and turn the real spanish americans black and white, just like the rest of America. Thank you.
December 30, 2007 at 1:41 pm |
I’m always amazed at the audacity of those white cubans in florida. They’re always talking that freedom, anti castro stuff, but they’re more elitist than the most racist southerner ever. I’m Honduran and those fools wouldn’t even look my way in school… they’re just white boys with z on the end of their name… trash.
January 28, 2008 at 12:53 am |
i promise you dude……even if hispanics dont speak spanish they still dont sell their race out. alot of my friends speak english and they are proud to be called hispanics. and when you say they are light skinned “blacks” or “gringos” dude you seriuosly havent understood the latin people….they are a beautiful race who love being what they are…even im hispanic and half white i love it!!!!!
February 26, 2008 at 1:10 pm |
Hispanic/Latino is not technically considered a race by the US Census, or any goverment agency that collects and/or reports demographics. Hispanic heritage is considered an ethnicity, and a combination of white, black and asiatic races. Historically speaking, Hispanics usually consider themselves descended from Native American tribes, and Latinos are by and large the result of combinations of African and European people, with the Native American/Asiatic genetic influence playing a much larger part.
March 6, 2008 at 1:06 pm |
Hispanic Is not a race latino is not a race
technically latino is like saying the word latin
latin people are of european decent
so you have to have white in you to say your latino(latin)
Hispanic comes from also european whites
spain roman giving name is HISPANA = Hispanic that whas for the hole spanish peninsula
thats right Portuguese are also hispanic
Thats why the use the term
Afrohispanic,hispanic (Caucasian),Mexican Mostly amer idian decent
March 6, 2008 at 1:07 pm |
and the sheen family is from spain am Ireland
March 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm |
So Juan, what are you, Aryan?
April 20, 2008 at 12:43 am |
yeah well im a perfect example of why being..Hispanic..Latino..or whatever you wanna call it is not a race..you cant pinpoint it..every Hispanic is mixed with something..some are so simple as..oh they’re of Spanish and some sort of Native Indigenous decent, like mexicans..but man..a CUBAN? JESUS..it seems that every race decided to mix with cubans lol..spaniards..french..jews..lebanese..turkish..greek..polish.. russians..chinese..there are chinese/cuban communitites in Cuba..well there were..who knows if there still are..but there are many chinese/cubans..
here’s everything i know i have in me.. i’m cuban/spanish/salvadorean/french/lebanese and polish…lol
so..that makes me..what?? Caucasian (for all that European)..Native..(cause u know Salvadoreans have to have like Mayan decent and stuff) and i’m Middle Eastern (cause of the Lebanese)..
so what do i put on the Census? and all those tests? i check OTHER lol
oh and all that produced me.. being white complected..green eyes and goldish brown hair..i look like i could be from anywhere around the globe..well maybe not asian or african countries..unless u wanna say South Africa lol..
May 23, 2008 at 3:39 pm |
I take exception to your third paragraph and its declaration that this “phenomenon” does not occur with African-Americans. Whether it does or doesn’t, please don’t speak for us. I don’t mean any harm, but it seems that latinos only reference black people when it’s convenient for latinos. Please do not attempt to exploit the black experience to prove your point. I am black and I understand that your issue is with “white America.” Thus, leave us out of it!
May 23, 2008 at 4:42 pm |
Uh, I’m Black too. I’m “Us” and I can’t leave me out of it. Sorry. I’m black no matter where I go. No exploitation, just my reality. Not the same for you?
May 23, 2008 at 5:56 pm |
Brock,
I wrote my previous comment before I read your other blogs. So, I was mistaken in believing that you are latino. Thus, I take it back. You’re not exploiting the black experience – you’re exploiting the latino experience.
Now that I’ve read more of your writings, it seems to me that you’re one of those “citizen of the world” type brothers, who feel it’s acceptable to express an opinion on anything and everything. That’s cool when it comes to entertainment and pop culture. However, when it comes to issues of race (racial politics and racial history) that opinion should not be coupled with a cavalier, and somewhat insensitive, tone.
You seem like a decent well-meaning man, so I’m not throwing stones just for the sake of it. To each his own. Do you. I’m not an irrational angry black man. In fact, I’ve enjoyed some of your writings and I appreciate it. Ultimately, I accept that there are blacks who sometimes have a different perspective than I. Fair enough. Respect.
July 16, 2008 at 4:45 am |
don’t 4get Renee estevez kept her name 2
July 23, 2008 at 6:50 pm |
Melanie, if hispanic isn’t a race because of the race mix, then white or black isn’t really a race either… Or rather, one might say there are no white or black people left in the world. Because if you look back far enough, you’ll find someone that isn’t white or someone that isn’t black. The whole race thing is bullshit. We’re all just a group of people with different skin colors.
August 13, 2008 at 6:43 pm |
The reason there are walls and other devices on the Mexican borders, and not on the Canadian border, is becase “Illegal” Mexicans are flooding quite literally into this country. The Canadians are not. It has nothing do with race, other than the fact that the Mexican race, is willing to break this countries laws by the millions. 45-50 million as an estimate. And if the Canadians start doing, they’ll be staring at a wall as well. However the Canadian economic structure is much more solid than the Mexican’s goverment. Jobs are a plenty there, and they pay decent money. Mexico doesn’t have that either. It’s not a race issue, it’s a legal issue.
August 19, 2008 at 6:22 pm |
Hispanic is not a race. Its just a combination of natives and Spaniards. Many people forget that the Spanish raped and pillaged the natives, conquered they’re land, and in the process created a “race.”
September 4, 2008 at 2:59 pm |
I’m Poor White Trash and I love cack in my mouth. Please find me a high spanic, so I don’t have to keep fucking my sister…. big dack in my mouth is bad errr good for my health. if you’re interested, I can be found at…
novalogic00@yahoo.com
Thanks,
Disgruntled white dude with no job, life, education or nuts.
PS- Jersey Rules…LOL
September 12, 2008 at 4:16 pm |
Technically anyone from anywhere in Europe, the middle east, North Africa, and parts of Asia are Caucasian aka “white”. There are only 3 races in the world, Caucasoid (Caucasian/white), Negroid (Negro/African/black) and Mongoloid (Asian/oriental/Indian etc.). Everything else is just a mixture of the three. Then you factor in culture and nationality and that’s where we get our diversity within the 3 races. Skin color isn’t a good racial classifier, highly visible, not terribly accurate (some Caucasoid races are darker than some Negroids and there is a huge range of variation). Study some Anthropology and you will be greatly enlightened. Check out this article on the “Races of Man”.
http://www.cartage.org.lb/en/themes/Sciences/Lifescience/HumanRaces/RacesMan/RacesMan.htm
Hispanic is not native or Indian whatsoever not anymore than “John” who’s great great-grandfather came over here from England and had a child with an American Indian native. We didn’t all of a sudden start calling this new mixture “Anglo” as if it were a new race. So why do we presume to call the Indian/Hispanic group “Hispanic” and not Mestizos? True Anglo’s are no more “white” than true “Hispanics”. They both originate from a geographically proximal area in Europe which is chiefly comprised of Caucasian people. There were no Native Indian people in Europe during the time that the French, English, Spanish and Portuguese came to the Americas to plunder its people and resources. So therefore, Hispanic like Anglo is both white. Hispanics mixed with Indian are called Mestizos. Blacks mixed with Franco, Anglo or Hispanic is called Mulatto or Creole. As I mentioned above, everything else is just a mixture. The reason there is such anger and prejudice against Mexicans and other Central and South Americans as well as Caribbean people is because typically the poor ones immigrate here, obviously because of the economic stature of their respective country. Most of them take jobs but because they are poor many of them commit crimes here solidifying the prejudice. Just like here in the States there is prejudice in the country they originate from. Just watch a Novella from one of these countries, most of the actors and actresses are very Caucasian looking which pretty much mirrors the upper-class in these countries. That’s why you don’t see many light skinned and white looking Hispanics jumping the border. They don’t need to because they have it good in their home country, no need to emigrate. There are only 3 races in this world. What are you mixed with?
September 12, 2008 at 5:35 pm |
Hispanic/Latino isn’t a race but its not just because of mixing. It is really a different kind of category. Latin America is a *place* where people of different races came together and interact (both positively and negatively) just like the United States is a *place* where people of different races came together and interact. So Latin America is a place with black people and white people and indigenous people and Asian immigrants and all kinds of mixing on top of that as well. Latinos can be of any race.
Latino is more like a collection of cultures and ethnicities.
I actually blogged alot about this kind of stuff over at
http://www.planetgrenada.blogspot.com, especially in my earlier posts.
(I’m an Afro-Latino Muslim and blog about race, culture, politics and religion)
September 15, 2008 at 5:44 pm |
I’m Euro-Arab-Indian. Which includes the countries of France/Spain/ Germany, Syria and Mohawk Indian from near the U.S. Canada border.. So I guess based on your conclusion, it would make me Latino or Latin because of the Spanish and French. If I was Italian or Portuguese that would also be considered Latin. The people of so-called “Latin America” are no more Latino/Hispanic than the people of the U.S. or France are English or French. Just because the people speak the language does not make them Hispanic. I was born here in the U.S. and I speak English, but I am not English. Should we be called “Britannic”? I also speak Spanish but it doesn’t make me anymore Hispanic than what is comprised in my genetics. Because of the European conquest that began over 500 years ago most indigenous people lost their identities and learned the tongue and took the names of their conquerors much the same way the African slaves did, some by force the rest by perceived assimilation… Granted over the years these two cultures (European and Indian as well as some of the African slaves) have interbred and propagated throughout our hemisphere. Much to the chagrin of those few who claim it, no new race has formed from this, only a broad mixture of many European, Native and Negro peoples from throughout their respective continents. Let’s not forget the huge influx of Asians peoples who came later. That is too vast for a label. Point is, speaking a language doesn’t make a people. There is no such thing as a Hispanic from anywhere other than the Latin countries of Europe, period. If labels must be applied to placate insecurities about our purity then our country of birth or nationality should suffice as our label because in reality the only thing pure about any of us is that we are all pure human.
September 15, 2008 at 5:49 pm |
It wouldn’t let me edit my comment so I posted a correction for anyone confused by the above mistake.
“The people of so-called “Latin America” are no more Latino/Hispanic than the people of the U.S. or Canada are English or French.”