BUSTED: Denise the Shady Lunch Lady

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After watching a few episodes of Survivor China, I knew there was something about Denise that just wasn’t right.

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It all started when she was all too happy to snake James, her supposed ally and friend, when they voted him off with the two immunity idols. Not only was that dirty, but it was stupid for her. She clearly was on the outside with Amanda, Todd and Lil Evil. Then she stretched credulity with that whole “I’m a Karate Instructor, I own a dojo and I’m a second degree blackbelt” but yet when she showed the Shaolin monks her stuff, she moved with the grace and precision of a has-been circus elephant with it’s trunk up it’s ass. Let me tell you a thing or two, a Karate woman looks like this:

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This:

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And this:

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(Yessir)

Not like this:

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Ya feel me? A Karate chick is fit, determined, and clean. She’s not the arbiter between Chicken Fricassee and Mystery Meat Tacos (incidentally, school tacos weren’t all that bad). She’s thinking about her energy, the universe, being one with her inner chi and all kinds of shit like dat. She aint thinking about whether she’s gonna shape her mullet up into a rat tail or just leave it wild to hang trailer park free. You are no more of a Black Belt in Karate than C3pO was a Jedi Knight.

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(I’m actually not sure how this fits, but I’m a bulldog guy, so F it)

Then the chick refused to reciprocate Peih-Gee’s reward generosity talking about “I don’t want her to get strength”…. Biatch, she’s waxing you on all kinds of challenges AND it’s 4 against 1. If you had any “honor” as you kept on hitting Amanda with right before she iced your ass, then why didn’t you show Peih-Gee any love? Then she started quiting all kinds of challenges, wouldn’t eat the damn chicken embryo — she was just a mess. All that “of the people” foolishness was just a farce, or so it seemed at the time….. Well, now we have confirmation.

If you watched the finale, you saw Denise give this contrived sob story about how she lost her job because of the show..roll the tape intern.

LOL, it’s pretty ugly when you consider that she played Probst to set it all up too. Ha. This is off topic, but what’s up with that guy, Probst, by the way? Why is he so self-righteous? He’s like the Survivor version of Alex Tribec. He talks down to everyone on the show like he’s some kind of Survivor Genius, meanwhile, his ass stays out of the game, well fed and fully clothed as bangs out (but doesn’t marry) one of the tighter contestants they ever had and probably a native of 6 in each “exotic destination” for good measure. “Why didn’t you try to get them out of that alliance?” Yeah, easy for you to say, you aren’t out there playing the damn game, son. What they need to do is put Jeff out there on this new Survivor Vets v. Newbies joint next season. Then things would get interesting and quickly.

Anyway, long story short, Denise got BUSTED!

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Right, predictably, her boss was watching the finale (go figure), took offense, dimed her out for being a lying cheat who was just trying to mooch some lootchy off her “fame” and now she’s out here apologizing. Check the video of that HERE.

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Yeah, I guess the fact that she asked to be and was promoted to janitor from Lunch Lady, rather than fired just happened to escape her during the finale show. Oh and the fact that she’s been in this new job for months already also somehow got changed around. Ha… I know this chick aint the biggest genius in the world, but didn’t she know that people were going to figure this out?

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Did she actually think all those administrators were just going to let her conjure up some story about how they unfairly canned her without getting their say so in? I mean, I know she’s an ex-Lunch Lady, but hasn’t she heard of the internet? Shit like that doesn’t go unexposed. I guess Courtney was right after all; you really do just “suck at life“…. Nice try, enjoy the $50 stacks you stole from Mark Burnett. I hope your reputation and all the shit your kids will take as a result of this was well worth it.

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“Denise, I’m sorry, Lake has spoken. Now get yo’ shit, fix yo’ wig and beat it”..

– Lake

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