The South comes to their senses as Huckabee rises


Yes indeedy, finally realizing that they don’t trust Mormons.


That they hate gays.


And love guns.


The Southern Republicans are finally saying what I’ve said for months, that they need yet another white dude, who talks about Jesus, hunting, low taxes and governing (in that order) for their Presidential candidate.


I mean, isn’t it obvious that Mitt was pro gay, pro abortion, hell, pro Democrat, back when he needed to be? And now he’s trying to change up?


Nah, I don’t think so. Similarly, Rudy was IN DRAG, pro gay, anti gun and pro abortion his entire career and now he’s suddenly some kind of solid social conservative?


Nah, you can’t fool the Southern Republican! Where’s the intolerance? Where’s the simplicity? Sure, they’re both pandering, but it’s not insincere enough. I mean, you gotta really get in there and appeal to their most basic stupidity like ole Dubyah, a dude who really grew up in Connecticut, did back in 2000.

I know one thing, they better hurry up, because a slow talkin’, southern drawlin’, ice tea sippin’, Reverend, Brother, Deacon, Dr. Gobner named My-ike Huckabee is sneaking up on them and he speaks their language.


He’s keeping it real.


I kind of like it actually. Go ‘head Ma-Eye-Ike. At least we know where you’re from and what you’re about. See, they understand My-ike and My-ike understands them.


He jus- lie one-a dem. Sure he’s a little soft on his racism, but he can improve on that. He’s surging in the polls I tell you. I like it, I started to think America had lost it’s mind. Good to see I can rely on the backwards, non progressive and ignorant Southerner GOP types that I’ve grown so accustomed to.

I can tell you this, if you’re a illegal errrr non-citizen, immigrant to the United States and you don’t have your damn paperwork contemplated, filled out, signed, sealed and delivered, you might as well book your flight back home early, because this coming year is going to be a bitch for yall. Well, that is unless you’re a white Cuban or from Europe… My GOP friends tell me that you can stay. 😉

God Bless Amurica,

-Lake W.

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