Survivor China Finale: Todd wins!

by

So I went ahead and peeped the end of Survivor China tonight.

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It was very odd. Usually the people on the show look significantly better once they get all that grime and mud off them, but not this bunch. Almost everyone look bloated and caked-up with make-up on the reunion show. Brock asked early on who the hot chick was supposed to be on the show. Generally if you need to ask that question, the answer is that there wasn’t one. In theory Amanda was supposed to be the hot one and in fact, she had been in several beauty pageants coming in.

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Hey, it’s not my cup of tea, but that’s a respectable thigh by anyone’s standards. And while it could have some more curve on it, that hamstring is talking to that arse piece in the far right picture. I can’t lie, she was looking exile sexy toward the end of the show. She’s naturally a somewhat stocky girl, so the Survivor diet fit her nicely.

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Now that damn Courtney, who inexplicable got two winning votes by the way, did not take well to the Survivor diet.

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Literally never. They said the chick started the show at 94 pounds and ended that joint at 86 pounds. Dammit!! There just has to be something illegal about that. Please note that you never heard her complain about a lack of food. That ought to tell you something. Yeah, your dad was tall and skinny, but A. you aint tall and B. he really wasn’t all that skinny. Only you are. And how did that chick get on the show anyway? I know you want a biatch to mix things up, but she just took things way too far. That line about how Denise didn’t deserve the money “because she sucked at life” was so so ill.

Speaking of Denise, she took it on the chin as a result of the show, so much so, that Mark Burnett had to break her off with $50,000 just for being so miserable. I mean, she lost her job as a lunch lady, she extended that mullet because it made her feel more feminine

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(huh?) and then she even got iced out by the fans as the favorite Survivor. And let me ask, if her family is so poor and hard off, why was everyone in the family famously plump? Hey, I’m not trying to go Courtney on her, but she was a bit too vocal about why she deserved to stay in the game, like she didn’t ice out Piegh Gee. It’s not like cats aren’t out there trying to win too.

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Oh and those Shoalin Karate sessions Denise demonstrated for us at the ancient temple..awful. She’s a 2nd degree blackbelt? I didn’t know JC Penny reversibles for $4.29 qualified. Hey, I’m like James Brown, I don’t know Karate, but I know Ka-razy and I’ll tell you right now, I’d call on the 36th Chamber, use my Wu Tang style and bust her candy ass in mixed martial arts.

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Those moves at the temple were Daniel-son-eque and believe me, that’s not a compliment. Anyway, Todd won and he definitely deserved it.

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He was the best game player and at times it definitely seemed like he was the only one playing the game. I couldn’t understand how Amanda didn’t know that she had no chance to win against Todd. That was not smart. You just had to like Todd to step up after kicking everyone off to be able to say, “Hey, I’m the man (sort of), I played the best and I won this shit. Everyone else road my coattails.” It’s just too easy and true by the way.

What I didn’t like about Todd was that damn lipstick he was rocking on the finale show. That was terrible. Anyway, James got the fan favorite $100,000, Todd got the mil and Denise got the sympathy $50 stacks. I can’t be too mad at any of it. Oh and this just in, the winner of the best looking Survivor is Peih-Gee.

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No question, she cleaned up nicely, had decent J game and an above average face. She just edged out Amanda who almost backed into the award, but something about the weirdo puppy dog eye she was giving during the last show bothered me.

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What can I say?

– Lake

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5 Responses to “Survivor China Finale: Todd wins!”

  1. Tone Loc Says:

    PG was definitely the best looking one overall. Amanda was attractive, but in that crunchy way. PG was in her element, back to her roots in China.. The girl was exotic, erotic and I salute her…

  2. Nstgatr Says:

    Peih-Gee looked downright smokin’ at times, but I fell in love w/ Amanda in the season finale…indeed, right up until she busted out those puppy eyes. But damn, the legs on that girl! Why didn’t she show those off at the reunion?! Jaime was definitely bringing her A-game, and while Courtney is still WAY too small for me, she was definitely looking better at the reunion. Hell, I’d even like to rock with radio host Leslie. Definite MILF game.

  3. Lake Arlington Says:

    Interesting, I wasn’t feeling Jaime at all. I just didn’t get it honestly. PG was the winner for me. Don’t get me wrong, Amanda has tools, but something about her flow at the end was a turn off. Overall, it was a weak group of chicks when you’re calling out the not even a cougar, can’t believe she’s your MILF, Christian talk show radio host who “isn’t religious”.. ha What does that even mean? Reminds me of when John Brown, on the White Rapper Show, told everyone that he wasn’t a rapper, but that he “does rap.” HUH?

  4. Brock Hardon Says:

    Ashley isn’t my type, but I think we needed some more time for all those angles on those fake bres-ta-sis to drop in. You know Vince McMahon only brings the best. One the real, we’re looking for dimes at a nickel convention. I mean it is degrees of turrible at this point.

  5. Commander Joe Says:

    I thought Amanda was the prettiest, and she did look better too, before she was cleaned up for the finale. I like it that she’s in the new one, Micronesia fans vs. favorites. She could definitely show off her sexy body in that bikini again!

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