Lil Weezy off the market?

by

I read this mess on a gossip blog so you know it’s gotta be true (or completely fabricated, oh well). But according to Bossip, Lil Wayne has purchased an engagement ring for Lauren London.

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(Crickets) Yeah, right, I don’t know who the hell that is either. She’s the babe who played Turtle’s girlfriend for like 1.6 episodes on The Entourage.

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Riiight, thaat chick. Anyway, I’m not so sure I believe this. First, we aint never seen Bird Man Jr. with this chick, I mean, not never. Second, she’s cute and attractive and all, but, Lil Weezy is from New Orleans. That means, he’s used to chicks with that thunder. I mean, homey keeps a thick chick in his video, he was smashing Trina (after Baby was though..yuck) and I don’t know, I just feel like Weezy and I have the same taste in women. So of course that brings us to the ultimate question:

Is Lauren London a UvT Quality babe? Because lord knows Lil Weazy shouldn’t be messing with ole girl if she isn’t.

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Now, you knee jerk cats will immediately say, YES!!! I mean look at her. The babe is in fact tight. Pretty face, purty hair and it’s something about that wide “Bad Newz Kennels” inspired pitbull in a skirt stance she rocks with the extra wide hip that just be talking to a nilla…

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Let’s stop for a second, she looks DOPE in this shot. We need to file this joint under when hood goes good..WOW.

But the rest of her… I’m just not sure. Like this picture for instance.

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Oh, no no no.. see something here just aint right. It’s like when you bite into the Sweet Potato Pie and suddenly realize, oh no.. it’s Pumpkin!!! You try to make it taste right, feel right.. but it just aint the same. And no, it’s not just one bad angle.

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(Better, but still no)

Hmm, just reminds me of that famous line by Jigga Man aka Jay Z in battle anthem The Takeover against Nas.. “One was naaah the other was illmatic, that one hot album every ten years average”. Her tail is just uhh, nahh, eeeeh for me. I have a hard time rejecting her from the UvT quality crew, but right now, it’s just a no. Sorry, it’s just not good enough at this point. For real, it’s like the Hall of Fame, if you have to make an argument for a chick, she aint good enough. Like for instance, I’m going to show you two pictures. First think Lauren London, then:

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Bang, now you understand what we’re talking about here. Jessica Biel leaves no question. Oh, that backside pic is too easy you say? Keep it rollin intern.

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Boom..Meagan Good.. I mean, if all you ever saw of this babe was this picture, she’d still be on your top 5 baddest babes ever list.

Maybe next time Lauren. Damn, I feel bad, but only because we’re talking about Lil Wayne and his potential wifey. Tell you what, I’ll go ahead and throw out the challenge flag on myself and let Brock review it up in the booth, see if the call on the field stands or not.

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More later….

-Lake

—————UPDATE——————–

Lake, my nilla.  You have really put up a tough one here.  At first I thought we had missed one, but the third eye of UvT never lies.  I know I didn’t let one slip past me.  In order to overturn the call on the field, I’m going to need indisputable evidence otherwise.  I ran back the footage a few times and there’s not much there.  (evidence or tail)

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I don’t have the perfect angle, but the call on the field stands.  She’s out.  I tell you what isn’t up for debate.  The fact that Cassie has some big ass hands.    You see those things?

-Brock

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One Response to “Lil Weezy off the market?”

  1. Mr. Smith Says:

    Ha, consider this:
    1. Lil Wayne is barely literate and looks like a zoo exhibit.
    2. Lauren London has a *perfect* face. I admit to wishing she had a smaller waist and a rounder butt.

    Now consider this:
    I see women and question why they settle for second-rate men. This is the hetero reaction as it shows interest in the women. You see men and wonder why they settle for second-rate women. Hmm… One.

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