Is Beyonce Knowles UvT Quality?


Lake ran down a list of bad chicks last week and Beyonce caused a little controversy. Is she tight all the time? Is she one Popeye’s two piece away? We’ve seen her momma, so we know what the future holds as soon as Beyonce stops dancing all the time. She clearly knows what gear works for her and knows her best angles, so you can’t hate on the girl too much. You gotta work what you’ve got. Let’s take a look.

Let’s start with old school, young Beyonce.


This is the slimmed out version, before she was really rocking those thighs. Man this was back when I didn’t even know if Beyonce was the baddest chick in the group. I didn’t want to give her too much credit for being the light skinned chick. I was a Latoya Luckett man myself.

Beyonce must have known something was up too, because she kicked those chicks up out the group and replaced her with Michelle, who looks like someone’s moms if you catch her at the wrong angle. She kicked Farrah out after just a few weeks too. She must have seen thiscoming. Beyonce cemented her status as the “cute one” with that move.

She then went solo and started hitting cats with this:


She knows shes got the thickness covered, and rocking the semi-see through top really killed it. The back arch always adds a few points too.


She even figured out a way to keep it tight from the front. I know the stomach isn’t that tight, but she greased it down and propped up the j’s. Her thighs are always killer so they are a given.

Once she went solo, she really started killing em. Beyonce figured out that she needed to go Tina Turner on em. Here is the money shot.


Man, when you can see the tail piece from the front, you really know you are working with something. Kelly Rowland can pop it from any angle she wants and never achieve these results. She is really giving it you cats with her eyes too. Jay-Z knows what he’s doing. From classy to nasty, I think Beyonce has it down. I just feel bad for her little sister.


It’s gotta suck always being the Ron Harper to Beyonce’s Michael Jordan.



Yung Brock, great blog entry. To me, this kind of hard-hitting reporting is exactly why I got into this business. Yo, I’ve pondered this question many times myself. Not so much in the form of “Is Beyonce’ UvT quality?” (she is), but more like “Is she really thick?” or a just a slimmed down big girl with a dietitian, chef, personal Billy Blanks and Balco (or it’s equivalent) frequent shopper card in her pocket. I’m still not totally sure. It all started with that “Crazy in Love” video with the “ut oh, ut oh, ut oh” rump shaker dance she rocked and the outfit she had with it. In fact, let’s go ahead and rock that now.

(Is it me or are youtube videos getting worse and worse on quality?)

You can see the bend in the back, but then it doesn’t necessarily continue to explode through the tailpiece like you want it to. Make no mistake, a killer body will do both (see Melyssa Ford who has the back hook and the crazy arse). At any rate, I pretty much came to the conclusion that “B” was essentially that hard body chick with the extra layer of thick laid up on top given that she’s a natural big girl who really should, no check that WOULD, be carrying another 35 pounds if she wasn’t in entertainment. That was until I saw that “ass so fat you can see it from the front” (this is probably the ONLY time you’ll ever see my quote Mos Def) picture Brock just posted. To me, that’s irrefutable evidence that there is gold in them hills. I can’t lie. “B” is a dope chick and yes, Solonge is the Roger Clinton to her Bill. It’s bizzaro Kanye cuz they made that girl “Softer, lower, slower, weakeeeeer”. Is it me or does that chick have permanent braces in her grille piece? I don’t know, it’s just the way those lips lay. It aint right.

– Lake

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8 Responses to “Is Beyonce Knowles UvT Quality?”

  1. sade Says:

    omg i like this blog its really really funny i was laughing

  2. mrod Says:

    This might be the greatest entry so far on UvT.


    […] The professors at Us Versus Them ask regarding Beyonce: “Is she really thick?” or a just a slimmed down big girl with a dietitian, chef, personal Billy ….  Their analysis is always hard hitting and informative with a careful microscopic examination of […]

  4. RosyF Says:

    My spidey senses say something is still amiss. She may have width but where is the volume. And let’s be clear if she were really that bootylicous she would not work so hard to get that arch in every posed pic.

    Lake and Brock, given that you have good assology instincts, and it is holiday season, I say go ahead and upgrade Bey to Uvt. (Why not you’ve got Christina “airbrush” Milian in there.) Bey has some serious curves working for her.

    Now if her momma would stop picking her outfits…

  5. ToyToy Says:

    OOOOOH! I saw Beyonce here in Colorado Springs in September. She is a lot smaller than you would think–a size 6, but no smaller than that. I am a size 9 — 36-24-40, but bigger in the sholders, bust, and smaller in the waist that she is. My butt is a little bigger also. I actually would not change my body to look like hers. She really has to work out to keep those curves in tact. But she looked great! In interviews she has said that she DOES have to work really hard and she has the tendency to eat a lot. In comparison, I don’t have to work that hard since I have been a VIGOROUS ATHLETE ALL MY LIFE. It stays with you as long as you keep it up. She was never a real athlete, but has studied dancing and lifted weights in order to enhance her career.

  6. ToyToy Says:

    Oh oh look what i just found:

    “Beyoncé Knowles accidentally revealed her secret weapon to keep her bootylicious behind in top shape – a giant pair of “Bridget Jones” control pants.”

    The “Irreplaceable” singer was in the middle of an energetic dance routine when her thigh-skimming silver dress flicked up and revealed more than expected.

    The singer, who was performing in Shanghai as part of her world tour, has appeared to abandon the skimpy underwear in favor of oversized pants that keep wobbly bits under wraps. You could see Beyoncé Knowles’ secret here. (THERE IS A LINK THAT SHOWS HER IN CONCERT WITH HER DRESS FLYING UP AND THE CONTROL PANTS UNDERNEATH–THEY HAVE ADDED BUT PADS IN THEM)

    The Grammy Award winner has regularly spoken of the constant battle to keep her weight under control, admitting she loves indulging in fried chicken and treats.

    Last year, Beyoncé Knowles lost 20lbs on a liquid diet for her role in the film “Dreamgirls”, but quickly put it all back on again.” QUOTE

  7. Lake Arlington Says:

    Damn toytoy, you sound like you’re UvT quality. You should send us a picture or yourself, maybe be a star on the blog.. holla..

  8. chea Says:

    beyonce from i first saw your videos i was like ooooo my god i really would like to meat u before i die

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