Kid Rock Gets Scattered, Smothered and Chunked in a Waffle House

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Kid Rock was cruising through the ATL last weekend when he got into a fight in a Waffle House.   This breaks several of Brock’s Rules.  Rule #1: Never eat at a place that is open 24 hours a day.  There is no way for the place to ever get clean.  Rule #2: Never listen to the cat in your crew who wants something to eat at 5am.  Lake is gooooood for that bullshit.

Lake:  Hey mang, you hungry?

Brock:  Hell no.  I’m drunk and tired.

Lake:  You need to soak that up, let’s get some food mang.

First of all, that “soak it up” theory is terrible.  Second of all, there is not a person on earth that is happy about working the night shift serving your rowdy and loud, drunk, think all your jokes are funny, under tipping, smelling like liquor and cigarette smoke, and really drunk ass at 5am.

At this point, it usually means that you end up in an IHOP, but I’ll give Kid Rock some credit since the food at Waffle House is actually decent.  So Mr. Rock was ordering up his Waffle with hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, peppered, tomatered, old burnt grill caked, and whatever the hell else they do to them, with a large sweet tea (gotta have it), when a fan gave him some beef (not the steak and eggs meal from the menu…you know not to order steak at Waffle House, right?) and promptly got beat down by Kid Rock entourage and security team.

That’s gonna cost you some loot Kid.  Hopefully you got a few shots in so it was money well spent.

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From the look of his mug shot, they let him finish the waffle before hauling him off to jail.  That’s the face of a full belly and professional mug shot taker right there.  A little bit of research shows this is his fourth time.  Let’s take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

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Up top we have Kid Rock 2007, the seasoned vet.

Below we have a slightly less recent, a little skuzzier, a little more country version.

Bottom left we get the fresh faced kid, probably did a little time in juvi for that one.  My favorite is bottom right with the full on pube ‘stache and the only slightly concerned look on his face.

There is way too much smiling in all of these pics for me.  Never smile in the mug shot.  You are not happy to be there.  Even Backstreet Boy Nick Carter knew not to smile.

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Oh that is straight Studio Gangster if I’ve ever seen it.  I mean, he’s trying, but that is the opposite of hard right there.  You can see it in his eyes.  You gotta at least try to go hard though.

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Snoop knows whats up. I mean this cat has beads in his hair and he still keeps it real.  He doesn’t even look high, which I’m 98% positive he is.

Moral of the story?  Take your ass home after the club.

-Brock

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