Survivor China – Ashley taps out

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Check Out our UPDATE of the Survivor: China Finale HERE. 

It is still to early to tell who will be the winner of Survivor China, but there are definitely some real losers out there.

Let’s start with the “leader” Dave. Once again, I don’t want to keep setting this dude up as the measuring stick for all that is bitchy, but if you are so tired a cat named “Frosti” comes to push you out of the way so your team can man up…you’ve got problems. Dave was really trying to visibly tap out so that either someone would step up and save him, or his team would believe he was putting forth his best efforts and not want to vote him out for being less than manly. Of course, CBS lists him as a “former model”, which actually raises a lot of questions. First of all, that is not actually a job. If your job title contains the word “former”, it is no longer your profession, and your new job is “unemployed”.

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Damn Sherea…I see you.

Let’s talk about the first challenge. Do chicks really not know when their titties are out? That babe Amanda was flying free for at least the last two minutes of that challenge. Let me tell you, if my junk falls out in the middle of the jungle, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to miss that. First of all people would be tripping left and right and all the ladies would be dumbstruck, so it would be hard not to notice…I’m just saying.

Is there no clear water in China? This is the first season where every damn challenge hasn’t been a swim out to build a boat, or hold your breath to unhook a clip, or drop into the water through a ring. They just keep building mud pits for these people to run through. Also what is up with busting your wad on the 6 v. 6 challenge when one team has 7 players and the other has 8? Huh? You couldn’t wait another week for that one?

By the way is the Mullet (Denise) really on the show?

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I think she’s only been shown twice. The first is when her hairstyle of choice was prominently displayed. The second was when I noticed that she has legs like a damn defensive lineman. Yeech. Aww, she’s a school lunch lady. I guess that will be useful in the jungle in case they come across a stash of Dharma Initiative Corn and frozen Pizza like they did on Lost. Otherwise I’m not sure her training translates well.

I guess a bunch of you are think that someone on Survivor: China gets nude, buck naked, artistically unclothed. Well, you probably aren’t looking for Denise, so I narrowed it down a bit. Oh yeah, maybe some more Ashley Massaro Pics?

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She was in fact in Playboy (twice!), and can be found here.

-Brock

I know I need to go ahead and make a prediction for the winner of Survivor: China. Not ready just yet…next week. Right now, I’ll say I think it will be a woman.

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