Ladies roundup: Good girls, bad girls

by

A few of you have emailed me about Rihanna and her alleged sexual relationship with Transformers star, Shia LeBeouf.

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Well, my first statement is that if she was going to go YT, she should have gotten with the baddest white dude of all times….no not Justin Timberlake, ME, Lakey the Don!!! Anyway and let me just say that I’ve always thought Rihanna was with white dudes. Just look and I’ve said this before, SHE CAN’T DANCE. That certainly is some white folks stuff. Whatev, do what you want to do is all I can say. If you want to enjoy a Hollywood lifestyle, you gotta sample the Hollywood white man. “You go gurl” ahnt.

The next order of business is Ciara. Hey, I’ve always thought she was fine, but I usually end up looking more at her background dancers than her. Unlike Rihanna, Ci Ci can shake a leg (and a tail), but something about her just never really clicked for me. I don’t know, maybe it was the Lil Bow Wow affiliation. Well, anyway, those reservations ended when I saw this picture the ‘nother day.

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Wow, very impressive. Particularly in her “lower register”.. I can’t lie, seeing this pic forced me to look a bit closer at the rest of her.

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Oh yes, that wig piece is looking just about right. Hey, I’m a hair dude and enjoy some purty hair. I realize that it’s unrealistic for celebrities and entertainers to go without weave, but I still appreciate that her hair looks good. I’m feeling this. One more…

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Oh damn, Ciara and Eve… hmm, Eve looks pretty good next to Ci Ci, looking all legit and dignified. I gotta hand it to Eve, she’s really cleaned herself up and is a far cry from some of her thug chicken female rapper counterparts like Remy Ma and Foxy Brown. Not only that, but Eve was a stripper back in the day and thus, has the sex tape (which I’m told you can see right HERE) and the lesbian shots on stage (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) to prove it.

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Finally we come to the good girls (or so we think), Vanessa and Angela Simmons from Run’s House fame. Ok, I like these girls, but I have a few questions and comments. Question, is Vanessa always going to use that exact same pose, with that exact same face for the rest of her modeling/acting and probably one day singing/rapping career? Dear, you’re a beautiful girl and seemingly cool… I enjoy the show. Expand your game though. And Angela. Again, cool girl and I love her, but that belly simply aint looking right in this pic and if that’s your real haircut, I’ll reverse myself from above and state that you should go out not now, but RIGHT NOW,get a weave and put it into action!!!

Finally and I won’t spend too much of my time on this, but I’ll just say, I don’t know exactly what Bill Clinton is looking at in this picture, but I’m fairly certain that Jesse Jackson is getting that oh so perfect, sittin on high, lookin down lo, side view angle on Oprah’s tailpiece.

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I mean, any dude with  a modicum of appreciation for the female anatomy, especially the backside, understands what Jesse is doing right there and yes, it’s hilarious!!!

– Lake

12 Responses to “Ladies roundup: Good girls, bad girls”

  1. brittany Says:

    you are a hater and outrageousy negative…. geez

  2. lauren Says:

    dont tell me ciara cut her hair just like tiffany no way …..she looks so ugly no wonder y everybody is talking about her hair goshhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

  3. helen Says:

    well brittany u cant beat me so shut up

  4. ?????can't say bow wow Says:

    bow wow i am i realy big fan but not just a ordianary fan i am a special fan dat has a crush on u i would like to meet u if only u would like to meet me?i have meet most famous people like rihannah,omarion,chris brown,lil romeo and more by writing this kind of email so i hope it will work with u let me give u hint u havee seen me before because wen u used to live in miami u saw me but never stopped by u know me quite good enough to sen a email back to me and wen u do i will tell you and i swear u will be SURPRISED so please bow wow beleive me this ain’t no game send me one by the end of tomorrow and write the name tifanny if u mean me thank you…bye bow wow

  5. sara Says:

    omg i lvoe ciara…she looks so pretty with her new hair style…nd her new Cd im feelin it =] yea she all grown up now. GO CICI GO…she look mad cute on those picz

  6. chelsea Says:

    i think ciara hairstyle is great i want it like that but then i want it like rihanna’s hair style u kno long in the front and short in the back i don’t kno witch one t2choose.

  7. chelsea Says:

    hey this is for ciara i love the hair style i’m getting my hair done today and i’m going to do it like yours i hoping i can .

  8. adaija Says:

    lauren u need to shut yo ass up cus if ciara won’t hu hair like dat she can ,u actin like tiff is da shit she only made like 2 DAMN songs and ciara and tiff looks like de can b kint or sisters so i agree wit everyone else u da only one hatin on these posts and grow da fuck up and get out my idol hair bitch so go by yo shit and i’ll go by yo shit !!!!!!!!

  9. adaija Says:

    i mean my shit

  10. TIARA Says:

    CIARA WAS COOL BUT NOT NOMORE BECAUSE SHE WANT WITH MY MAN BOWWOW IM SO GLAD THAT THEY BROKE UP….

  11. RBM Says:

    Who ever is doing these reports i am enjoying your working and i love the little bits of humor you squeezed into paragraphs…

  12. oj Says:

    i’m just upset cause the picture of ciara’s face close up you said”oh i like her new weave” or w/e,BUT to tell you the truth,just because a girl is black;doesn’t meen her hair is alwayas fake…cause my hair is longer than her’s n my hair isn’t even permed…so before you speak(seein that you’re white talkin bout “booty this,booty that”) get your facts straight n ask somebody..just cause this is a computer,you don’t always have to write bullshit on celebs cause they people too…what i write on the web is what i would say in real life…like i would say this to you…would you say ALL the things you type on the computer in real life to these celebs faces??no!!so shuup…n whoever keeps postin these things bout rihanna”oh her but is magic,her butts small-i thought she was black so shouldn’t she have a BIG ASS??-she’s SUPPOSED to know how to dance cause she’s black” please stop!cause i’m a black woman too,n it’s not written anywhere that ALL black females are supposed to have big asses and are supposed to know how to dance…thats all a lie…fine,most black females DO have big asses but not all…n most can dance but not all..for your info,i’m shaped like rihanna,thick legs,n a “not big but not flat either” butt like hers…n shouldn’t how she acts matter to you the most anyways,why you soo caught up wit the booty??n plus,she prolly wouldn’t let you hit it anyways>:Pcause i know i wouldn’t seein how cocky you sound…n hey,i ain’t bein mean,i’m just tellin it like it is..

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