L Boogie…What happened?

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Remember sweet sexy Lauren Hill?

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Musical genius, could actually sing and rap. (Mos Def, I’d give you props here, but you’ve been slackin’ on yo pimpin’ lately.) Representing sexy for the brown skinned sistas. Those lips, those eyes, those legs. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill was a transcendent album in its time. We wanted to Fugees to get back together although no one could figure out what the hell Pras did. (Seriously, he has to be the most useless group member since Mr. Dalvin, since Dylon, since that dude with the weird hair in the Backstreet Boys)

Then, back in 2002, she came out with an Unplugged album. Lauryn, a gee-tar, and nothing but opportunity. Great right? We’d get another ‘To Zion” right? Another “That Thing”? Maybe another “Lost Ones”, right? Yeah, we got a lost one. L Boogie hit us with some old interpretational, spoken word like, every damn song sounds the exact same bullshizzle.

She’s been on the long slow fall for a while, but now we get this:

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Oh hail naw Lauryn. You know we can’t let you get away with this. Now I don’t know if you went back to 2001 so that you could rummage through Andre 3000’s closet to find those pants and belt combo. I’d call the jacket a Michael Jackson Bad throwback, but I just scrolled back up and realized that joint is a damn VEST! Mr. T jewelery, you found the “Heart of the Ocean” that Leonardo Di Caprio dropped in the Titanic movie and turned that joint into a ring. Your hair looks like that mid-shape-up that Robert from making the band had before getting the soul glo put in. Seriously, who was your stylist, the same person who did Chris Tucker’s hair in Fifth Element? And what’s up with the clown makeup?

Like my man Lake said, “It’s funny how money change situ-a-shon”. It’s changed you for the worst. I know there is still some genius up under all that crazy though. Come on back to us L-Boogie.

-Brock

———————————–

Damn sun!!! What happened to L-Boogie man? Right now, I’d rather see Mike Boogie in concert than have to face this nonsense? I mean, who’s to blame. Wyclef Jean? Wild Rohan (or was it Ziggy/Damian, they’re all the same to me) Marley? Zion? Somebody better step up and take the heat for this one. My word.. Oh and that vest hit me late too. I just hope and pray that wig piece is a fake. Honestly, she was one of the sexiest chicks alive back in the day. Her flow was crazy, she could sing, hell, she even went to Columbia…baby gurl had it all. Then your boy ‘Clef got a hold to her…and well. I blame Pras. The bullsh*t cat should always take the fall. Same reason why Woody/Nokio (who to me are the same cats) are to blame for Dru Hill’s exit from the R&B game. Incidentally, and I know I’m off topic, but can anyone believe Sisqo used to rock that platinum ceasar? Insane.

-Lake

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