Givin, Givin, da Givin, I was givin some h*ead!

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Another Republican sex scandal?

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Awwwww no, this is a horrible time for the GOP man! First you’ve got the Worst President Ever, just running wild and acting up with an inability to understand the extent to which he’ll be viewed as the a$$hole to top all a$$holes, then you had yesterday’s story about United State Senator David Vitter (R) Louisiana and his mardi gras parade of hizzoes (REAL His-oes) when he got exposed by Larry Flynt and Hustler Magazine for being on the DC Madam’s speed dial and now this.

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(peep the Bob Allen Mug shot)

A filthy muthaf*ucker down in Titusville, Fl., State Representative Robert “Bob” Allen, (R)-Merritt Island, was arrested Wednesday and charged with soliciting an undercover male officer for sex at a park in Central Florida, according to police.

Investigators said Allen was acting suspicious and went in and out of the men’s restroom at Veteran’s Memorial Park (gotta keep it classy right).

Minutes later, authorities said, Allen solicited the male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20!!! Yikes! The park had been under Local Police surveillance as a known haven for debauchery, man-on-man prostitution and overall weird shit!

Officials said the officer was popped by the Po Po’s for trying to hit what he thought was an immigrant off for oral sex for $20. Awwwww, don’t you hate when that happens? While being transported to jail, Allen told WFTV Channel 9 that the situation was “a very big misunderstanding.”

Of course, who wouldn’t misunderstand a grown ass, married man lurching around a known ho spot looking to hit off undercover coppers with an H2. We get it.

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Let me run down all the reasons why this story is god awful:

1. He was trying to hit off an immigrant cat for oral sex. This may seem like a random detail, but remember, this cat is a State Representative in Florida. Clearly he’s aware of the vulnerable position some of these South American cats are in and now he’s trying to profit off that by offering HIM, the OTHER GUY, 20 pesos, no check that, Dólares so that HE can provide, again, the other dude, a mic check? Let’s just say I’m pretty sure we’ve finally found an effective deterent to illegal immigration. Nasty!

2. He was trying to hit homey off in a state park bathroom. A state park bathroom?! Now, answer me this, is there any place on this earth gnarlier, dirtier, stankier, or more old, yesteryear piss and shat infested than a state park bathroom? If so, please tell me now (ok port-a-potties aside). I do believe your average park bathroom is grimier than Abu Ghraib, Rikers Island and Guantanamo put together. Again, FUCKING NASTY!!!!

3. He’s an ELECTED OFFICIAL!!! It’s not like he’s random joe blow (sorry, wrong word choice) off the striizeets. Clearly homey was gonna get popped eventually. Damn fool!

4. And you knew this was coming, he’s a married man with a wife at home and a child to boot. Of course he is.. People got to keep up appearances, especially if you’re a GAY, Republican living in Florida, one of the most anti-Gay of all states.

5. There’s never a first time for this kind of thing. You don’t just wake up one day as a 45 year old State Rep. with a wife and bambino and decide, “you know what, today I believe I’ll go sell my mic checks for $20, because I’ve reeeeeaaally had my eye on that new Amy Winehouse CD”. Nah, you come out the womb doing crazy shit like this. Make no mistake about it, he does this shit! This is what he does!!!

Horrible story, I feel dirty. Like Pac said at the beginning of “Hit em up” I can’t believe I’m even on this muthaf*uckin track errr story, I’m done.

One Response to “Givin, Givin, da Givin, I was givin some h*ead!”

  1. “Drop and give me $20″ - Givin some h*ead part 2 « Us Versus Them Says:

    […] all remember the story of Republican State Rep. Bob Allen, the cat who offered to perform oral sex on an undercover MALE cop. Sure, how could anyone forget. Well, what we didn’t know at the time our UvT Florida bureau […]

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